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‍“Saboteur” is a word that was introduced to me by Betterself.

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I didn't realize how important it is to know what is sabotaging me from living as I am struggling to live my life.

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I was given a quiz form to fill and a saboteur result via email. I probably realize that I'm hyper vigilant and avoidant but I didn't see it as an open mind like seeing it as a saboteur in my life.

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I'm taught to think about what I feel before and after. To be honest there's a lot of thinking but it's beneficial and I can get used to it one day.

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But for now I'm less fearful of doing mistakes because I've learnt about my saboteurs. I've become more confident in living and also better in observing myself and my improvements.

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I had an episode where I struggled with depression. And it's easier to see that I'm being avoidant and I can actually overcome this feeling.

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I started to see more of my small victories, my super power. My friends Wei Ching and Felicia also checked up on me to see how I'm doing. I totally appreciate it as I have not many friends.

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I don't have to be afraid anymore. I just want to keep living and accepting myself, especially my flaws.

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Thank you Betterself

-Syakirah